The Last Thing the Internet Needs Now

Edit/Repost: The REAL Way to Kill MySpace
December 18, 2007, 8:31 am
Filed under: Internet | Tags: , , ,

NOTE: I decided to un-hinge this from the Ice Storm/No Cable bitchfest I posted yesterday in the off chance it might actually be helpful to someone else (assuming they find my site) and also want to sever themselves from The Middle School of the Internet.

Well, sterrapin vs. MySpace is over. They have finally seen fit to terminate the account I so desperately wanted cancelled oh, a couple of months ago. How it finally happened:

First of all, it should NOT be necessary to log into the account to do this, although I did log into my account to do this.

1. Set up a different e-mail address from whatever e-mail address you registered, or otherwise use a different e-mail address from the one you used to register your MySpace account.

2. Don’t bother with the “Cancel My Account” thing in your account settings (I did this repeatedly and got nowhere), and go instead to the bottom of any MySpace page and click on Contact MySpace.

3. When you go to the “Contact MySpace” page, you should see a couple of drop-down menus. In the first one, choose “Your Account;” in the second one, choose “Delete Account.” Click SUBMIT.

4. The next page you will see offers pertinent topics that are in the MySpace FAQ. Skip that and click on “No, e-mail customer service.”

5. That finally takes you to a form to e-mail customer service (instead of this “Tom” character). This is where your super-special new e-mail address comes in.

6. Say you are a relative of the user and explain that he/she has died and to terminate the profile. This is exactly what I did and my profile was terminated within 24 hours. Sure MySpace is a haven for whiny emo kids, attention whores and pedophiles (although not all MS users are like that, I know people who still have MS accounts who are pretty well-adjusted), but it appears they seem quite respectful of the wishes of the loved ones of “newly-dead” users (or perhaps other individuals whose profiles had to be removed for varying circumstances, not necessarily involving terms of service violations like posting nudie pictures, if you know what I mean.)

So yes, I’m alive, thrilled, and laughing my ass off since some wonk at MySpace fell for me posing as my “cousin” asking for the profile to be removed because the user is deceased (in my case, I dropped dead from a brain embolism). Yes, it’s mean and cold-blooded, not to mention fraudulent, but I decided it was the absolute last resort to get my account whacked. I really didn’t want to post nudie pictures … I enjoy nudie pictures as much as the next person but putting them up on any site that I run or whatever just isn’t really my style.

But I am damned happy to be MySpace dead.

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