The Last Thing the Internet Needs Now


To Tweet, Or Not to Tweet
January 10, 2009, 12:24 am
Filed under: Daily life, Internet | Tags: ,

I cannot make up my mind whether or not to join Twitter.

I follow a few Twitter feeds, but I am not sure it’s for me. One, I’m long winded. Two, it isn’t like I update this thing on a daily basis, what makes anyone think I’m going to log onto Twitter every day and answer the dear question, “What are you doing?”

So, what am I doing? I’m sitting on my ass at my desk in the kitchen at home which is redolent of Nag Champa and dinner that was eaten several hours ago (I took off work Friday). I have a cold, I’m kind of pissed off and I have a headache. The TV’s off (actually the TV’s about to be sold) and the BBC World Service is on. I may or may not rack out soon.

I think I’ll skip it.



Oh, Damn This is Funny
March 12, 2008, 10:43 am
Filed under: Internet, Oklahoma | Tags: , ,

If Celebrities Moved to Oklahoma (hat tip: wintrest.com)

Granted, I could care less about most standard-issue “celebrities” (meaning the film and TV celebrity variety, although there are certainly professional sports celebrities that skirt this dynamic too). I don’t give a rat’s ass about Britney Spears or the Olsen twins or Paris Hilton (and I remember nearly driving into a tree when her little jail affair was worthy of being reported on National Public Radio’s All Things Considered, which usually has significantly better news judgment), I don’t read People or US or any of those rags, and I don’t really watch television outside of ESPN, C-SPAN, the Weather Channel or whatever local newscast (usually KOCO). I hate to go to the multiplex when I can rent the DVD and watch it from the comfort of the Big Brown Recliner a short time later and not have to put up with ushers, general dicks and concession prices.

That said, anything and everything that holds them up to ridicule is okay by me. And this is some of the greatest Photoshopery I’ve ever seen.

Sad to say, though, while there are fat, ugly rednecks in every state of this Union, there is a certain, I dunno, distinctiveness, about Oklahoma’s fat, ugly rednecks (fortunately they are really a minority here).

In the interest of full disclosure, this is being written by someone who is, admittedly, disproportionate (but I am working on it) and worse for wear. I’m okay with being called fat and ugly.

But call me a redneck and those would be fighting words.



12.24/12.25, 2007

Seasons Greetings, dear readers (all five of you).

This is old, but great, and it works surprisingly well (NSFW language)

Awesome! These young ladies express their righteous scorn for MySpace better than I did earlier in this blog.

I still can’t begin to express my disgust that I was ever a part of that POS, and how much I enjoy sites that hold MySpace up to the ridicule it deserves. Mind you, I still have offline friends who use MySpace, and more power to them if that’s what they want to do, it just isn’t for me. And that’s completely aside from their buggy, rife-with-errors, and just-fuckin’ ugly site. Even uglier after users “pimp” their pages and/or put up some background so obtrusive that you can’t read the text on the page. That was another thing that just got on my nerves the more I explored other users’ pages.

The individual who persuaded me to start a MySpace account, well, we’re not communicating anymore. As much as I would like to go back and undo the things that made us become hostile towards one another — things that were largely my fault, but not all — I won’t be holding my breath for it. Fundamentally he is a warmhearted and good individual, and I wish him well in his life (and future profession) ongoing.

————————–

But did they really have to can him on Christmas Eve? Now-former Bulls Coach Scott Skiles says the timing is neither here nor there, but still, geez, Christmas Eve.

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Who would have thought the Portland Trail Blazers would become the hottest team in the NBA? They are riding a 10 game winning streak and, led by reigning Rookie of the Year Brandon Roy, are getting solid contributions all around, but especially from Travis Outlaw, James Jones, and LaMarcus Aldridge. Underappreciated veterans Joel Przybilla and Steve Blake are also chipping in. This is a good, cohesive, talented team — despite its youth — that has vaulted to the upper tier of the NW Division standings.

On Christmas Day Night they will meet the Seattle Supersonics in a big game, but for different reasons than might have been the case a few months ago. Were circumstances different, this game would pit No. 1 overall draft pick Greg Oden against No. 2 overall draft pick Kevin Durant. Oden, of course, underwent microfracture surgery and won’t see an NBA court until next season; Durant is putting up great numbers for an otherwise woeful Sonics team. Now its an opportunity for a national audience to see a team that should be one of the NBA’s feel-good stories in action. What this means, of course, is … Portland cannot relax, because you’d better believe the Sonics would probably love to spoil that win streak and one of the precious few nationally televised games the Blazers will have this season.

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Maryland Terrapins fans — please try not to press the shiny, red, candylike panic button. Yes, it’s horrible and unacceptable that the Terps lost inter-conference home games to Ohio and American (!) in succession. It also leads to the inevitable questions about 19-year head coach Gary Williams and his future.

Bear in mind that these are questions that were asked when Maryland couldn’t get past the Round of 16 in the late 1990s. They were also asked a few short years ago when the Terps missed the NCAA Tournament altogether in 2005 and 2006 just a few short years removed from winning the whole thing.

For what its worth, the 62-year old Williams has now spent a significant portion of his lifetime connected with that institution: In the 1960s he played there under Bud Millikan, and graduated in 1968. When he took the job in 1989, he stated in so many words that this would be the last coaching job he would take (after successful runs at American, Boston College and Ohio State) and would not be looking to leave for another job. Given that he’s still there 19 years later, Williams clearly meant it. And early in his tenure he was clearly tested by the NCAA sanctions that Maryland incurred because of violations committed under predecessor Bob Wade. Williams rode out that storm, needless to say. I don’t question the man’s passion for coaching (although his passion for recruiting is often questioned by some observers) — or the institution he belongs to — at all.

A losing streak, or not making the NCAA Tournament is not the end of the world to me; program-killing or program-shaming NCAA sanctions can certainly be, for enough time that it can take a while to rebuild a program’s reputation.

College basketball is a funny thing, and a cyclical thing. Right now the cycle is not running in the Terps’ favor. The funny thing is, that cycle could rotate back once the team rights its ship and starts winning games. Remember last season when they got off to a horrid start in conference play and then closed the season with a run that included knocking off Duke (twice) and then UNC at home? While those losses to Ohio and American don’t look good on a tournament resume, it is NOT too late the right the ship this season. For that reason, I’m not willing to throw Gary Williams under the bus.

————————

I mentioned “cyclical.” This brings me to OU, who started their Christmas break by knocking off the then 20th-ranked Gonzaga Bulldogs last Thursday, on national television, in the All-College Classic.

Mark Few’s team was playing with a slightly-injured Matt Bouldin (ankle), a rusty Josh Heytvelt (who hadn’t played any kind of game since being suspended last February, and is recovering from foot surgery). However, despite being bothered by a knee, Jeremy Pargo went nuts against the Sooners (career-high 28 points). Pargo is the engine that makes the Zags go, and one of those kind of dangerous objects that you don’t want to leave unattended. So imagine my surprise when Pargo’s late-game shot was blocked by skinny little Austin Johnson, who of late has been playing some of the best basketball of his whole time at OU.

Pargo’s older brother Jannero, a reserve guard for the New Orleans Hornets, also has played on that same Ford Center court. The elder Pargo joined the Hornets before the 2006-2007 season, the last one of the Hornets’ temporary relocation to Oklahoma City in the wake of Katrina.

Despite Gonzaga’s semi-depleted state, this was still a statement game for the Sooners and second-year head coach Jeff Capel. The Sooners have been down for a while, and a win over a ranked (and well-regarded) foe is a milestone in Capel’s quest to bring Sooner basketball back to respectability.

I also think this helps in further distancing OU from the not-that-great last years of the Kelvin Sampson era (speaking of program-shaming NCAA violations).



Edit/Repost: The REAL Way to Kill MySpace
December 18, 2007, 8:31 am
Filed under: Internet | Tags: , , ,

NOTE: I decided to un-hinge this from the Ice Storm/No Cable bitchfest I posted yesterday in the off chance it might actually be helpful to someone else (assuming they find my site) and also want to sever themselves from The Middle School of the Internet.

Well, sterrapin vs. MySpace is over. They have finally seen fit to terminate the account I so desperately wanted cancelled oh, a couple of months ago. How it finally happened:

First of all, it should NOT be necessary to log into the account to do this, although I did log into my account to do this.

1. Set up a different e-mail address from whatever e-mail address you registered, or otherwise use a different e-mail address from the one you used to register your MySpace account.

2. Don’t bother with the “Cancel My Account” thing in your account settings (I did this repeatedly and got nowhere), and go instead to the bottom of any MySpace page and click on Contact MySpace.

3. When you go to the “Contact MySpace” page, you should see a couple of drop-down menus. In the first one, choose “Your Account;” in the second one, choose “Delete Account.” Click SUBMIT.

4. The next page you will see offers pertinent topics that are in the MySpace FAQ. Skip that and click on “No, e-mail customer service.”

5. That finally takes you to a form to e-mail customer service (instead of this “Tom” character). This is where your super-special new e-mail address comes in.

6. Say you are a relative of the user and explain that he/she has died and to terminate the profile. This is exactly what I did and my profile was terminated within 24 hours. Sure MySpace is a haven for whiny emo kids, attention whores and pedophiles (although not all MS users are like that, I know people who still have MS accounts who are pretty well-adjusted), but it appears they seem quite respectful of the wishes of the loved ones of “newly-dead” users (or perhaps other individuals whose profiles had to be removed for varying circumstances, not necessarily involving terms of service violations like posting nudie pictures, if you know what I mean.)

So yes, I’m alive, thrilled, and laughing my ass off since some wonk at MySpace fell for me posing as my “cousin” asking for the profile to be removed because the user is deceased (in my case, I dropped dead from a brain embolism). Yes, it’s mean and cold-blooded, not to mention fraudulent, but I decided it was the absolute last resort to get my account whacked. I really didn’t want to post nudie pictures … I enjoy nudie pictures as much as the next person but putting them up on any site that I run or whatever just isn’t really my style.

But I am damned happy to be MySpace dead.



Behold …
December 3, 2007, 5:30 pm
Filed under: Internet, Not exactly sports | Tags: , ,

Krzithead and TerpBE’s Hawaiian adventure …

Genesis

I will let the links speak for themselves.



Thematic Break: sterrapin vs. MySpace, Part Deux
November 18, 2007, 2:46 am
Filed under: Internet | Tags: , , ,

I will beg and plead now.

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE GO HERE:

My Profile

And please report it for abuse so that my account may be terminated.

I have gone through the appropriate channels more than once to cancel this account, they still have not cancelled my account. I am through being nice about it but I’d like to stop short of posting nudie pictures (a surefire way to get tossed) because I really don’t have time to look for any and I’m certainly not going to post any of myself (sorry).

And BTW, I put the remarks about Fox News there in an attempt to infuriate MySpace’s parent company … while I tend to be liberal-leaning and yes, abhor the Fox News Channel, I do actually consume more sources of news and try to make up my own mind about issues.

So come on please, you’d be doing me an incredible favor. I’m so sick of that site I can’t stand it anymore.

I also don’t want to junk up my new computer (the reason I’ve not been here lately — yes, being a bad Blog Mom again) with all that crap that permeates MySpace that makes my computer slooooooow.

Thank you kindly.

–sterrapin.



Thematic Break: Remove Me From Your Space. NOW.
November 9, 2007, 12:00 pm
Filed under: Internet | Tags: , , , ,

Need to vent about this, in the form of an open letter:

Dear (Popular Social Networking Site) Kahuna, Whoever the Hell You Are:

WHAT PART OF PLEASE CANCEL MY ACCOUNT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?

I submitted a “Cancel” on my account last Sunday. According to your own website if a user cancels his/her account, the comments they’ve posted, blog posts, bulletins they’ve posted (lots), pictures (a grand total of one and that was of a tiny tiny turtle held on the fingertip of a zookeeper), whatever — poof — all gone. Supposedly.

So why are my comments still visible on the pages of a pair of friends (online friends and real-life friends as well) still visible? Is this because you’ve yet to vaporize me? What’s the holdup?

Look I understand you probably don’t get why someone would want to actually *leave.* But trust me, I can come up with them because I’m just anti-friendly enough to do that.

First of all, the tacky and ridiculous (and no doubt unkind to dialup users, which I am thankfully not) Flash ads screaming “YOU HAVE THREE NEW CRUSH ALERTS!” or “HOW _________ ARE YOU?” (insert Evil, Emo, Dumb, Horny, or whatever in the blank space, it’s probably just another obnoxious flash ad). Somebody pays for this crap, right? Yup, usually companies deeply desirous of clogging your inbox with, um, unappetizing-looking canned processed meat products. Before I signed up with another e-mail provider I just adored sifting through the hundreds and hundreds of messages in my inbox encouraging me to buy products to enlarge my non-existent penis.

And really, if something were about to crush me I’m not sure that an Internet warning would suffice. It isn’t like I take my computer *everywhere* and, well, if I’ve been crushed to death I’m probably not going to be checking e-mail. I really don’t see why this warrants more screaming, ugly advertisements.

Oh, you mean THAT kind of crush. Oh yeah I forgot, (Popular Social Networking Site, hereinafter styled “PSNS”) is the middle school of the Internet, rife with ugly, awkward 13 year olds with raging acne AND hormones who don’t have a clue how swiftly life is about to screw them front, back and sideways in every cavity that God drilled into them. Um yeah like I really want to go back to those days (but I’ll tell you what: No two television programs illustrated those awkward years better than Freaks and Geeks and The Wonder Years).

And sorry, not all your users were a) looking for a hookup, whether illegal/illicit or not; b) wanting to post their drunken party pictures or c) wanting to post gigantic, slow-loading, byte-choking .jpgs of Every Single One Of Their Favorite Rock Bands They Ever Listened To In Their Entire Life on their profile page. C’mon, you know who you are, there are a whole bunch of you on (PSNS), you’re like an army or something. While waiting for your pages to load I forgot why I went to see your pages in the first place. And please, I’m not a music hater at all. I don’t even hate *your* music (unless you listen to country music or something, in which case we have problems). Sorry if I misused my (PSNS) account for, oh I don’t know, other stuff?

BTW, this blog was born on (PSNS); the Greg Oden “birthday party’s over” and Maryland basketball uniform rant posts were originally posted there. Thankfully I wised up and opened a WordPress account, ’cause all I wanted to do was write anyway.

And oh yes, how could I forget this one: You can do all the fun custom crap and be able to use the more advanced features that PSNS has to offer … provided you are using MS Explorer and, as is the case frequently, a Windows PC. Gee, way to be really be inclusive of users who prefer different operating systems (hello Mac and Linux), or to use browsers like Firefox which, well, don’t suck. And that cute little message on one such custom feature: “Mac and Linux users — we’re working on it!” does not suffice. It’s been there a while. You just don’t care.

Yes I knew exactly what I was getting into when I started a (PSNS) account. I’m a dumbass. But you offer users the opportunity to cancel their accounts. By not honoring my request to cancel my account, why I think that’s bad faith.

So please get off your ass and zap my account. Thanks!

Love always Bite me

— sterrapin.